


A Supernaturally Unfortunate Series of Events

by TheDoctorin221b



Series: Blood on my fangs and my heart in your claws [1]
Category: A Series of Unfortunate Events (TV), A Series of Unfortunate Events - Lemony Snicket
Genre: Alternate Universe - Supernatural Elements, F/M, Family, Hybrids, M/M, Succubi & Incubi, Vampires, Werewolves, skinchangers
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-05-27
Updated: 2018-05-27
Packaged: 2019-05-14 11:08:27
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 2,226
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14768424
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TheDoctorin221b/pseuds/TheDoctorin221b
Summary: Vampires, werewolves, succubus’, skinchangers and all manner of other supernatural creatures that go bump in the night. This is a story of fear, death, blood and not for the faint-hearted at all, if you do not like the unknown or afraid of anything ranging from gore, demons and trauma then look away now. Turn off this story, close this tab and go watch a cat doing something funny. Trust me it will be much more enjoyable for you than this.





	1. Chapter 1

To Duncan –

You told me once, reading a book from a dead author was like using a time machine.

I wish I had a real time machine now.

 

 

Vampires, werewolves, succubus’, skinchangers and all manner of other supernatural creatures that go bump in the night. This is a story of fear, death, blood and not for the faint hearted at all, if you do not like the unknown or afraid of anything from gore, demons and trauma then look away now. Turn off this story, close this tab and go watch a cat doing something funny. Trust me it will be much more enjoyable for you than this.

Now if you are still here, my name, as your narrator for this dismal tale, is Josephine Snicket, those closest to me call me Josie and depending on which parent I’m residing with my surname changes to a horrible one I hate. The reason for this story is that I have recently come to discover that a similar story to this one has been written by someone close to me. Lemony Snicket wrote our story but at my request left out me and my brother, he also chose to leave out the details of all the supernatural elements of this story to make it slightly more readable for humans and their mundane offspring, a word which here means, boring and would throw up if they even considered drinking blood or running with a pack on a full moon. So I believe it is now finally time for me to tell the story, the true story of Me, my brother Montgomery Snicket, the Baudelaires and the Quagmires, three sets of extraordinary children, unknown hybrids of mixed supernatural beings mating and how we changed the world for supernaturals and humans alike.

In a time not so long ago the supernatural creatures of the world were feared, misunderstood and hunted. So they hid, some hid inside their homes but some hid in plain sight, they acted as normal humans and no one knew any different. A secret organisation was created to help supernatural creatures integrate into the world, as well as protect them and help put out the fires either they or resentful humans set on each other. The Volunteer Fire Department or Vampire Fire Department (depends on who you ask) was created just after the events of Dracula by Mina Harker who’s second child, a daughter married a wealthy lord called James Snicket. Making me and my family direct descendants of the second vampire to ever exist, awesome right. Oh sorry the story yeah, my mother was a prominent member of the VFD which is why she vanished.

Our story begins in a cold dark field miles from any civilisation, meaning; a good place to bury the bodies of the recently killed criminals you had for dinner. My brother was currently keeping watch from inside the warm car we’d borrowed from mum, leaving me to do all the digging and heavy lifting. My brother looked around ten and I look thirteen but, as with most first impressions, these ages were as wrong as our surnames being Olaf. The thing about vampirism is it slows the ageing process considerable so where me and my younger brother are 20 and 18 we still look around ten years younger, this also happens with other supernatural creatures as you will find during the course of this story, people are usually older than they look either. Both literally and figuratively.

Back in the field, I had finally finished the grave and dropped in the two murdered murderers when a car appeared, parking opposite Monty in the other car. I dropped down to a squat before relaxing when I smelt Jacques from across the field, heading over to where he was talking to my brother. He looked grave and sad and my stomach sank looking down as he handed me a hand written note addressed to me and Monty.

“Read it out Josie.” Monty asked as I unfolded the pieces of paper.

_My dearest children_

_I have to go for a while, a very important mission call for my assistance. I want you both to know I will never **stop** loving you both, even if I do not return, always know, you were the best of my life. You are both powerful and strong people and you can do so much to the world. I hope dearly that you never meet your father, the villainous **Count Olaf** , he lost his mind shortly after Monty’s birth, trying to kill us three then vanishing into the night. _

_“The best thing you can do is master the chaos in you. You are not thrown into the fire. YOU ARE THE FIRE.” Mama Indigo_

_I want you to remember this as there is a chaos inside of both of you, my vampire blood mixed with your father’s Skinchanger blood. You are hybrids, but you are not alone, there are others, just as our ancestors started the VHD, it was only after the schism that mixed-creature relations began **starting**. _

_There are six other children like you but for their safety and yours I shall not tell you of their names but I know that someday soon all your paths shall cross and you will all change the world._

_I have every trust in my brothers to care you both, remember to look after each other and only drink from people who deserve it and don’t be so quick to give out judgement on people. As my brother once said; “If everyone fought fires with **fires** the whole world would go up in smoke.” Lemony Snicket_

**_Take_ ** _care of yourselves, make sure you eat some human food at least once a week and try not to annoy Jacques too much and defiantly don’t touch **his** taxi. I wish I could give you my **spyglass** as a parting gift but I need it for this dangerous mission, so I shall leave you with the wise words of the greatest playwright. Stay safe my children._

_“Doubt thou the stars are fire; Doubt the sun doth move; Doubt truth to be a liar; but never doubt I love.”_

_Your loving mother_

_Kit Snicket_


	2. Chapter 2

To Duncan –

Someone once said that journalism will kill you, but it will keep you alive while you’re at it.

They got the latter part wrong it seems.

 

Monty was blinking back tears and Jacques was staring intently at ground, I didn’t tell them about the words written several times on top of each other to make them bold, just sighed and placed the letter in my pocket to deal with later.

“Jacques, can we go home, please.” I felt bone tired all of a sudden and just wanted to sleep.

“After I finished your grave, go sit in the car kiddo, I’m sorry.” He said before kissing me on the head and going to finish my job.

I sat down next to Monty before handing the note to him telling him not to tell Jacques.

“Why? He could help us.” Monty argued.

“Mum would’ve told him if she wanted him to know to know. Anyway I have a plan.” I said

“What is it?” He asked intrigued.

“We need to ask around, some of the other members might know where mum is or Lemony if he’s alive and if that doesn’t work we need to go to Count Olaf’s get him to trust us if possible so we can foil his plans, hopefully.” I said, it wasn’t a good plan but it could be the start of one, I thought at the time.

After Monty agreed it took a few days to get the information of all the VFD members that knew mum and were still on the good side of the schism. The first addresses we found were both of our namesakes and we both split up to ask them. They didn’t want to give us the answers so we turned to the others and that’s how we ended up in front of a very large mansion one chilly morning.

“Woah its massive, do you think it has a pool?” Monty wondered.

I tugged nervously at the scout disguise we were both wearing before knocking loudly. Beatrice answered, a suspicious look on her face and a baby on her hip.

“Hello ma’am would you like some cookies, we have a lovely selection of Very Fine Delicacies. You can choose from; Crunchy and **Lemony** , to Mint Choc **Kit**.” I said with a large grin, emphasizing the names of my missing family.

“We very much like your house ma’am, its so big and its nice being away from the noise of the city. The world is quiet here, don’t you think.” Monty followed with an equally fake smile.

“Sounds lovely, why don’t you both come in and you can show me this selection.” An equally fake happy and underlying deadly voice answered.

“I’ll just go put her down for a nap, stay in the living room.” Beatrice warned before heading upstairs.

I looked around impressed to see how grand the Baudelaire mansion really was before Monty pointed out the most obvious and deadly problem with.

“Very little fire defences.” He said looking around, scrutinizing every flammable object in the vicinity.

The thing about Monty was he was very observant, he silently watched and noted things around him, it was his own special skill as Violet’s inventions and Klaus’ books and my ability to talk my way out of things.

“And why should that matter?” It seemed that while we were assessing the flammability of the mansion, or its front room anyway, Bertrand Baudelaire had return, probably due to a tip off from his wife.

“We need to find our mother, or our uncle and thought you might be able to help us. Your wife especially on the latter.” I answered.

“Jacques is fine, we spoke to him recently and your mother’s whereabouts is a very dangerous secret. Now why are fire defences important?” Bertrand was angry and short with his answers and we knew he wanted us to leave.

“Lemony is dead, you both know that, Kit loves you and she’s away to protect you two.” Beatrice said descending the stairs.

In the natural light filtering from the window hitting Beatrice’s head to create a halo, I could see why Lemony had fallen so hard for her and that was without touching her and being influenced by the succubus powers. Even after three children and years of marriage she was still as divine as Lemony always described, she was beautiful, but deadly. Beatrice could kill you within seconds, blindfolded and with one hand tied behind her back, not to mention while heavily pregnant. I’d know I’d seen her do just that, mere moments before Violet was born.

I handed her the letter silently, my eyes pleading for her help, as I made sure our hands didn’t touch.

“Please no one else will tell us anything.” Monty said from next to me.

“No one, who else have you seen.” Bertrand asked quickly.

Monty got out his notebook, checking the names once more, he was about to answer before I beat him to it.

“Does it matter, we asked people and they don’t want to tell us. Can you Beatrice?”

“No but it’s clear what your mother wants you to do. Tell me does Jacques still make his tea so bitter? Just remember, it could some **sugar**.” Beatrice answered handing me the letter back.

I was confused by that strange question at the time but before I could ask Sunny cried and Monty and I were quickly shuffled out of the house and Bertrand never got his answer about fire defences. I sometimes wonder what would’ve happened if I’d answered, would it have changed anything for the Baudelaires.

As I stand outside the mansion now, the burnt out building long gone, replaced by a block of cold unfeeling flats, the complete opposite of the warm family that had once stood there. Standing here in the rain, I remembered how I’d felt when I stood there the first time I’d stood here. After just being all but pushed out of the door, feeling confused, upset and most of all angry, angry at all the lies and cover ups and for the reason this mansion stood there in the first place.

“I heard Beatrice killed our grandparents to get their money and use it to build this.” I had spat in anger.

Of course I hadn’t really known this, I’d just found vague pieces and heard snatches of conversations about ‘the night at the opera’ but in my own suffering I wanted to hurt this happy and whole family by saying all I could. With that in mind I began to walk across the city, barely noticing Monty next to me as he constantly asked me where we were going until I reach the house.

It was horrible. Old and run down, with towers and spikes at the top like a gothic castle that had simply been forgotten with time.

“Josie, why are we here?” Monty sounded so young, scared and uncertain as I glared up at the house.

“No one is going to help us Monty, we have to do something, we're on our own.” I said before walking up and knocking on the door.


End file.
